GeneralDiscussionRejects

Magnetic · O.G.D.R Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 326 Location: Texas

What do you call a women with only one black eye?

A good listener.
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Pro Choice To Hang Liberals

Magnetic · O.G.D.R Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 326 Location: Texas

A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?

The cop.
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Pro Choice To Hang Liberals

scott1981 · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject:

scott1981 · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:24 pm Post subject:

Magnetic, all great man!
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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

jhdallas80 · O.G.D.R Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 83

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont , Texas , who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas . I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview . She is a part time 'working girl'.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who voted Barack Obama for President?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation
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"...If a nation expects to be ignorant, and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." - Thomas Jefferson

PO1911 · Posted: Tue Dec 16, 2008 5:30 pm Post subject:

^10/10

DaveG99 · Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:45 pm Post subject:

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going
out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they
decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went
out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their
marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so
on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject
of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?'
he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied. The old gentleman sat
quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned
over towards her and whispered:
'Is that one word, or two?'
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Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile -Albert Einstein

scott1981 · Posted: Wed Dec 17, 2008 12:54 pm Post subject:

9/10! Nice one Dave!
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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

jhdallas80 · O.G.D.R Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 83

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders,accompanied by two female teachers,
went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about
thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry, but mostly to
see the horses.
When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that
the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room
when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach
the urinal.
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and
began hoisting the little boys up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees'
to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't
help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.
Trying not to show that she was staring the teacher said, "You must be
in the 5th grade."
"No, ma'am", he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh
race, but I appreciate your help."
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"...If a nation expects to be ignorant, and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be." - Thomas Jefferson

Magnetic · O.G.D.R Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 326 Location: Texas

What happened when the school bus hit the woman?

I think the better question is what is the school bus doing in the kitchen.
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Pro Choice To Hang Liberals

scott1981 · Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:18 pm Post subject:

What is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

The back of my hand!
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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

CrAz3D · Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:47 pm Post subject:

* You can enjoy a beer all month long.
* Beer stains wash out.
* You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
* Your beer will always wait patiently in the car while you play ball.
* If your beer is flat, you can toss it out.
* Beer is never late.
* A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
* A hangover will go away.
* Beer labels come off without a fight.
* When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
* A beer never has a headache.
* A beer will never nag you.
* A beer won't get upset if you come home and have another beer.
* If you pour a beer right, you'll always get good head.
* A beer always goes down easy.
* You can share a beer with friends.
* You always know if you're the first one to pop a beer.
* A beer is always wet.
* A beer doesn't demand equality.
* You can have a beer in public.
* A beer doesn't care what time you come home.
* A frigid beer is a good beer.
* You don't have to wash a beer for it to taste good.
* If you decide to change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
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scott1981 · Posted: Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject:

DaveG99 · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 2:43 pm Post subject:

Dad at the Mall

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different
colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in
your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

'Got drunk once, and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'
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Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile -Albert Einstein

PO1911 · Posted: Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:41 pm Post subject:

did you hear they are recalling the obama commemorative coin?

when you stick it in your pocket it steals all the rest of your money!