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scott1981
Jr admin,G.O.I.T., O.G.D.R


Joined: 17 Sep 2008
Posts: 4564
Location: Texas, what country are you from?

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dummy wrote:
Chicago mayor put an add in the paper looking for ways to get rid of al the pigeons. Only one man answered the ad. He shows up to the mayors office with 1 shoe box. They settle on a price to get rid of all the pigeons in Chicago. The mayor says how you going to do it? The man pens the box and 1 pink pigeon flies out the open window. Flies as high as he can and all the pigeons in Chicago follow it as it dives into the lake, drownding all the pigeons. The mayor looks in amazement, and pays the man. As he leaves the mayor says, Hey you got any pink reggins in that box?


Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

Dummy wrote:
If she was my mom I'd still be breastfeeding.
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Dummy
O.G.D.R


Joined: 28 Oct 2008
Posts: 151

PostPosted: Sun Jun 07, 2009 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shinesintx wrote:
Dummy wrote:
How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard...hang one in the front.


I am aroused by your sig... Laughing



Gotta thank Buck for making me that. Very Happy
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State of hockey
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CrAz3D
O.G.D.R


Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 3756
Location: New Mexico

PostPosted: Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain....Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride' AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is what kills you.
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DaveG99 wrote:
It would be nice to have some fresh meat.

DaveG99 wrote:
dog dicks look like lipstick

Shinesintx wrote:
I am a butch bitch trapped in a mans body

squirtbottle09 wrote:
im bisexual
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Raptor05121
Homoraptaurus/O.G.D.R.


Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 284
Location: Florida

PostPosted: Tue Jun 09, 2009 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

epic ownage!
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CrAz3D
O.G.D.R


Joined: 23 Oct 2008
Posts: 3756
Location: New Mexico

PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A Honduran, a Puerto Rican, a Colombian, and a Mexican are riding in a brand new Tahoe. Who's driving?



BORDER PATROL
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DaveG99 wrote:
It would be nice to have some fresh meat.

DaveG99 wrote:
dog dicks look like lipstick

Shinesintx wrote:
I am a butch bitch trapped in a mans body

squirtbottle09 wrote:
im bisexual
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