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JOKE THREAD
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DaveG99
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Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Posts: 2821
Location: Dallas Texas

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 3:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

the barn one was good.
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ProfessorDickweed
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Joined: 30 Dec 2008
Posts: 589

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What happened to the reggin who had an abortion?
Crime Stoppers sent her a check for $500.
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Ftruck05
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Joined: 18 Sep 2008
Posts: 1048
Location: L.I.T.H. IL

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I may have said this but I like it so fuck off!

How do you starve a reggin?
Hide his foodstamps under his work boots.

Whats the difference between a bucket of shit and a reggin?
The bucket

Why don't sharks eat black surfers?
They look like whale shit.
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homer
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Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Posts: 390
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A white guy and a reggin fall out of a tree, who its the ground first? The white guy because the reggin gets cought by the rope.
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scott1981
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Joined: 17 Sep 2008
Posts: 4564
Location: Texas, what country are you from?

PostPosted: Tue May 05, 2009 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

homer wrote:
A white guy and a reggin fall out of a tree, who its the ground first? The white guy because the reggin gets cought by the rope.


Heard it before, but it always gets a laugh out of me .
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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
Posts: 326
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
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squirtbottle09
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Joined: 02 Jan 2009
Posts: 1212
Location: Navasota, Tx

PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 8:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha that is a pretty good one, lol. It is a good clean joke.
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scott1981 wrote:
I hear ya, thats the flaw of Texas... all the damn reggins and wetbacks

coobies5 wrote:
on some other forums we got some 50+ guys with some nice ass
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Dankle 666
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Joined: 31 Oct 2008
Posts: 962
Location: smOAKDALE, CA

PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 12:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How do you get reggin kids to stop jumping on the bed?
Put velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get them down?
Cut open a watermelon ... Fry some chicken (either one)

Why don't alligators eat meskins?
They burn their asshole on the way out.

^^ My uncle, Droopy (altonj3's dad), busted out that meskin joke on my ex gf that was meskin. Laughing
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scott1981
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Location: Texas, what country are you from?

PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Q. What has 142 teeth and can hold back the incredible hulk?

A. My zipper
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If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "It's just ice cream."
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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A guy is at the supermarket when he notices that the rather good looking blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him. He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him and although she looks kinda familiar, he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "Sorry, do you know me?"

She replies, "I may be mistaken, but I think you might be the father of one of my children."

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Christ!" he says, "Are you that strip-o-gram on my stag night that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my buddies while your friend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass?"
"No," she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher."
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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A old classic one that never gets old.



A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
Posts: 326
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man goes upstairs to his wife and says, "Honey, I think the Christmas lights are reggins."

She says, "What? How do you mean?"

He goes, "They never work, they're all chained together, and they hang from trees."

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
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Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Four guys were in a car. There was a Mexican, American, Italian, and Iraqi. The Iraqi threw a gun out the window and said, "We have too many of those in our country." The Italian threw pasta out the window and said, "We have too many of those in our country." The American threw the Mexican out the window and said, "We have too many of those in our country."
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Magnetic
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Joined: 29 Oct 2008
Posts: 326
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 4:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why haven't they sent any women to the moon?




Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
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