GeneralDiscussionRejects

DaveG99 · Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 9:15 am Post subject: JOKE THREAD

I'll start ........

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband
starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey,
I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want
to stay fresh.'

The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife
again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?
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Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile -Albert Einstein

CrAz3D · Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2008 10:40 am Post subject:

DEAF SEX

Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can't see each other signing, or lips to lip-read.

After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. She writes, 'Honey, why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times.'

The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn't want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.

Shinesintx · Posted: Tue Nov 25, 2008 9:44 am Post subject:

POST WHORE ALERT!! Not yall, but me Laughing

DaveG99 · Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 11:26 am Post subject:

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.

She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from...

So he says, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
to his wife and he says, 'My God, are you the stripper from my friend's
bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching
while your partner hit my butt with celery stalks while I was wearing that pink
leotard???'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher. '
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Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile -Albert Einstein

scott1981 · Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject:

scott1981 · Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject:

Q. How many blacks can you fit in a room with no lights on?

A. You will never know

____________________________________

Isn’t it fun being a child.
The Christmas Fairy brings you presents at Christmas for being good throughout the year.

The Tooth Fairy gives you money when you lose a tooth.

And the Sodomy Fairy buys you a bike for not saying anything to your mother.

_____________________________________
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.

"Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me," she told him.

"Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the foetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him.

She then asked, "How does that feel?"

He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

Shinesintx · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 9:11 am Post subject:

heres my joke

DaveG99 · Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:22 am Post subject:

A man charges into a bank wearing a hood and wielding a handgun.He shouts "This is a robbery - everyone get on the floor!", and proceeds to empty the cash drawers.As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his hood. The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts "Did anybody else here see my face?".The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and goes over and shoots him in the head also.
"Did anybody else see my face?"He shouts again, waving his gun around.There is a silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard from a distant corner. "I think my wife caught a glimpse..."
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Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile -Albert Einstein

Shinesintx · Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 8:43 am Post subject:

^^^While reading the joke, and drinking coffee...I got to the punchline...hot coffee through the nose hurts. Very friggin funny.
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Magnetic · O.G.D.R Joined: 29 Oct 2008 Posts: 326 Location: Texas

What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jellybeans?

The black ones steal your watch.
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Pro Choice To Hang Liberals

scott1981 · Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 8:23 pm Post subject:

Dankle 666 · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 3:52 pm Post subject:

These were just sent to my phone:

Mr. Penis said to his balls, "get ready, we're going to a party!"
The balls said, "you fuckin liar! you always go inside and leave us knocking."

A condom tells a tampon, "you always take my job for a whole week!"
The tampon replies, "yeah, but when you fuck up, I lose my job for 9 months!"
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Sig by Storm @ Screenfx.. Thanks!

Ftruck05 · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:44 pm Post subject:

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella????

Fo DRIZZLE!
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Yahweh · I like man meat in my ass Joined: 22 Nov 2008 Posts: 182

http://po1911.s2.bizhat.com/index.php Laughing

Ftruck05 · Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 3:15 pm Post subject: